Last week was pretty eventful. My job has changed. I need to reevaluate what I’m doing. Everything from eating to exercise needs to be revamped.
Monday my car was acting up. I made an appointment to get it fixed, but my car decided it couldn’t wait for the appointment on Wednesday and quit on Tuesday. I was driving along listening to the new DMB album (great by the way) and I stepped on the gas and noticed nothing. I looked down and the dash was lit up with lights. I tried to start it…nothing…coasted to the spot you see in the picture. Add in…it was 93 degrees, a busy road, and I sat in my car for an hour while I arranged and waited for a tow truck. I also called police who kindly stayed behind my car so I didn’t get hit. I’ll spare all the other details…
So I got back to work after missing my mammogram appointment for the second time. Felt ok…drank water, ate watermelon, went on about my day feeling pretty good about how I handled the situation. I had to go to another site to watch a presentation. And all of the sudden I didn’t feel so good. I got up to ask where the bathroom was…and shortly thereafter down I went. I remember everything was black and I could hear someone yelling she fell! she fell! And I wondered…who fell? Where am I? I tried two more times to get to the bathroom because I felt really sick and went down and out two more times.
It all earned me a fancy ride in an ambulance, then another ride in a transport vehicle to another hospital further north. I had a night of no sleep and a ton of tests. A day of tests and little sleep. By night I was heading home with no answers as to why it happened…but a whole list of tests that were fine. Maybe dehydration? Maybe stress? They say I need more tests. I can’t drive until I see the doctor…so I have to rely on others for rides. I hate it.
So what did this experience teach me? I need to take better care of myself. I need to find a way to de-stress. I need to find a way to fit exercise into my day. Recently I’ve taken on watching N a little bit more than I did before…so it has made fitting workouts in even more difficult. I’m tired. I don’t get enough sleep. I can’t stay up late and get up early. I’m taking on the world’s problems as if they were all mine. Something has to give.
I don’t have all the answers right now…but I took this as another reminder – a wake up call – I am not immortal and I need to pay attention to what I’m doing. The look on N’s face when he walked out the hospital after seeing me. It crushed him…it crushed me. I’ve gotta try my best to stick around. Monday I felt like I was done. I didn’t have an ounce of fight left in me…so I guess I needed a reminder on Tuesday night that being done isn’t really what I want. I just want things to get better. And how do things get better? It starts with me.
Welcome to a week of trying to remain positive.